The Reason
by Spikeworshiper
Summary: Songfic. One-shot. Ryou X Bakura. Bakura decides to leave after he realizes that his abuse of Ryou has gone to far.


**Disclaimer: **I don't own 'Yu-Gi-Oh!' and all lyrics belong to Hoobastank.__

* * *

_I'm not a perfect person  
There's many things I wish I didn't do  
But I continue learning  
I never meant to do those things to you_

You probably hate me, I know that if I was in your position, I sure would. If it means anything to you, I wish I could take it all back. All the pain, the anger, the hurting, the tears... But I know that I can't. It's too late for apologies, so I'm trying to do what's best for us. For you.

I look at you one last time. You lie there, sleeping. You look like an angel. I don't want to say any goodbyes, and I don't want to have to leave angry, so this is the best way. It's less painful for me.

_And so I have to say before I go  
That I just want you to know_

I didn't leave you a note or anything. I wonder if you'll miss me when you've realized that I've gone. I know you probably will. I haven't given you any reason to give me another glance, but you've always been forgiving. I've ruined your life many times over, and every time you take me back. So that's why I have to do this on my own, without you.

I might come back, but it's too far away to tell. I hope that when I'm elsewhere I'll find a way to control my anger. I don't want to come back and find that I'm still hurting you. It was never your fault; you were just the one who was always in my grasp.

_I've found a reason for me  
To change who I used to be  
A reason to start over new  
and the reason is you_

I have to change. I can't stand how every time I look at you when we're together; I see these bruises covering your skin. You've taken so many blows from me; physically and emotionally. I don't want you to suffer anymore.

Focusing my gaze once again on your sleeping figure, I bend over and kiss you lightly on the cheek. One last kiss. Then I quickly turn around and walk away, a piece of my heart being taken away with every step.

_I'm sorry that I hurt you  
It's something I must live with everyday  
And all the pain I put you through  
I wish that I could take it all away_

Once I close the door, I have to stop and compose myself. Tears roll down my face. I've never cried before. Ever. This is how much sadness I'm filled with right now. I long for you, and I'm not even gone yet. There's already a wall between us, as I recover and continue to walk away. I can't look back, then I might be tempted to return to you. And that I can't do.

I remember what convinced me to do this. I'd hit you countless times before, but when I saw your broken body last week, just lying there crying, I realized that I'm a monster. I always hurt the ones I love.

_And be the one who catches all your tears  
That's why I need you to hear_

I used to be so oblivious to everything. It was like my hurting you was an everyday ritual. And I guess it was. I couldn't bear to see you happy; it reminded me to much of my depression. So I had to make you miserable.

It's raining outside: a perfect atmosphere for my mood. I'm not going to wait for a bus, I'm just going to walk and think about life. Figure out what's going on, and what I can do to become a better person.

_I've found a reason for me  
To change who I used to be  
A reason to start over new  
and the reason is You_

When you wake up and don't see me beside you, will you be worried? Or do you know me well enough so that you won't be concerned at all? In truth, for the first time ever, I'm not exactly sure I will be alright. I don't know if I can take care of myself. After all, I haven't been without you in years. I'm a completely different person now. I think.

_I've found a reason to show  
A side of me you didn't know  
A reason for all that I do  
And the reason is you_

At the end of the road, I turn back one last time, trying to contain myself. I see our small house, the one made for you and I, and I blow you a kiss goodbye. You won't receive it; you won't even know it's there, but I will.

I've made a decision, wherever I go, for however long, I will return and find you. No matter what, I will you return to you. You are my reason for living.


End file.
